This week’s Real People Finding Real Happiness podcast interview is with Teri Murray. Teri has been on her own happiness journey for over 2 years and I know that you will enjoy learning about her journey. As Teri shares her biggest take-a ways from the challenge she also encourages us all to try the challenge if we are feeling kinda stuck or feel something is missing! Teri is a joy to be around. As you will hear in the interview, her happiness and positive attitude are infectious.
Resources I referred to this week:
21 Day Happiness Challenge Sign Up Page – don’t forget, we’re starting early May!
The Original Podcast where we referenced this topic was titled:How to Change The Negative To Positive
I hope you enjoy this week’s podcast. Don’t forget we’d love to see you over on the Facebook Group, The Happier You Podcast! You can also sign up to get the podcast delivered right to your inbox here.
Episode Transcript:
042 – Real People Finding Real Happiness – Interview with Teri Murray
Hi, and welcome to The Happier You Podcast. I’m your host Bona Normandeau. I started this podcast with the goal to inspire people to stop comparing their lives to others and start focusing on making their own journey unique, authentic, and happier.
I thought, what if there’s a voice out there, encouraging people to find happy in our regular everyday lives, instead of thinking happiness is something to be purchased earned, or only for a select few.
Each episode is meant to deliver a little bit of sunshine, as well as to challenge and inspire you. I’m no expert. I’m just a regular gal. Who’s inviting you on this journey to find the Happier You.
Hi, happy people. And welcome back. I’m excited because today is another episode of real people finding real happiness. This is when I get to introduce you to a member of the happiness community who has done one of our 21 Day Happiness Challenges, and then comes on the podcast to share some of their personal takeaways and lessons learned from the challenge.
I get really excited to meet different people in our community who are brave enough to come on the podcast and share with the rest of us.
I get even more excited knowing that they got something tangible from the happiness challenge. As you meet different members of our happiness community, you’ll notice that everyone got something a little different out of it.
There are 21 days of different challenges and resources. If you’ve done the happiness challenge, I would love to hear what you got from it. If you haven’t heard, we’re running another one in May, and I have put the sign up for it in the show notes today, you’re going to meet Teri Murray. Teri and I crossed paths years ago and we instantly hit it off then life and military postings happened, and we didn’t reconnect until she found out about The Happier You Podcast last year.
Since then, she’s been an incredible supporter and cheerleader of the Podcast.
Teri and I both started on our individual happiness journeys a little while ago, and just found out we were on similar paths when she discovered the Podcast. When I started looking for something to inspire me, I went down the Podcast route and Teri’s journey led her to working out and then coaching with beach body.
I think you will really enjoy getting to know Teri.
She’s a natural born cheerleader and she will inspire you to keep working on your personal happiness journey one day at a time.
Teri, thank you so much for doing this with me today. Welcome to The Happier You Podcast.
Teri Murray: Thank you for asking me to come.
Bona Normandeau: I’m super excited to have you here and to share you with the rest of the happiness community. So, let’s jump right in. The first question I like to ask everyone, is what convinced you to sign up for the 21 day happiness challenge?
Teri Murray: Well, like you said, we both been on this journey. And so over the last couple of years, I started to carve more time out for me and try and find things that were interesting to me. That helped me grow and develop on a personal and an emotional level.
I signed up for a gratitude challenge in the fall that was led by a book and I had a lot of expectations for it and it just kind of fell flat for me. A lot of people connected with it and enjoyed it, but for me, it just, it wasn’t the right fit. And I just felt like something was still missing. So I was completely in love with your Podcast and it made me so happy to always listen to it.
I had been behind, and I was folding laundry and listening to your podcast, and you mentioned that there was a 21 Day Happiness Challenge. And I was like, pause, go to the website, signed up right away, because I just knew that this was going to be the one that was right for me. Then of course, I went back to watching the Podcast.
Bona Normandeau: I love that. That fills up my cup. So what did you like most about the challenge?
Teri Murray: I completely loved this challenge. There was so much about it that I found amazing.
Day 16, when you said, “What you offer others, you give yourself.” That one was a really great one for me, because it just happened to be when things were getting agitated.
We were still in our lock down here in Ontario, again after Christmas. And it was just, it was getting heavy. And I noticed that a lot of my answers and responses when I was feeling agitated, impatient, or anxious were not ideal. It made me really reflect on what I thought I could do better.
And then it just happened to be that day, my son was really struggling with anxiety because things started opening up again in Ontario and without any lead in time or heads up or, you know, a week notice, nothing. CanPower, and hockey was, boom, starting right away. And his anxiety just spiked.
My normal response would have been get over It.
You’re going because, one, I spent a lot of money on it and number two, I don’t want him to live ruled by his anxiety. But I honestly took a step back because of this challenge and I looked at my son and I could see that he was really struggling to stay calm and try to find a way to work through it. I just said, “Go for your walk,” because it was second recess, he walks the dog, “get out of the house and have some fresh air.” And while he was out,I reached out to the organization and I was like, “We’re just going to take a pass this week, just so you know, we’re not going.”
When he got home, I said, “Hey, how are you feeling? He’s like “Much better, but I’m still really anxious.” And I said, what would it make you feel better if I said that you don’t have to go?
We’re just gonna not go this week. Give you time to process it because you have a voice and you’ve thought through this and you’re not just throwing in the towel, you just need more time and I appreciate that.”
And just visually you could just see the weight come right off his shoulders.
And he gave me the biggest hug, and anyone has 13 year-olds knows those are kind of rare sometimes. I was like, okay, WIN! This is awesome! It was a total win. And then, you know, moving forward from that, we removed him from the power skating.
He chose to stay at hockey, but that was his way of sorting through it. And. I’m really proud of him, but I’m really proud of me because I would’ve just been like get on with it. And I wasn’t.
I actually stopped, looked at him, saw how he was feeling and found a new way through it that we were both winners.
Bona Normandeau: Oh, Teri, I get goosebumps from that story.
I already knew that story because you shared it on the Facebook page that day, but such a parenting win. And that’s one of the things that I’m finding through this personal growth that I’m doing. I’m getting new tools and ways to deal with things and I’m getting parenting wins, which is kind of awesome.
And we both are raising thirteen-year-old boys. And I don’t think you can have too many tools in your toolbox. I am so glad that you’re proud of you. I’m proud of you, and I’m sure that your son came through that situation way happier because of the way you dealt with it.
Maybe a little bit of a tougher question, but what challenge did you find the most resistance to and how did you deal with that?
Teri Murray: I know this one hits you and it hits many people. And I see this a lot just in the coaching that I do. This self-compassion day, like day 18 near the end, that day I was on the struggle bus. I was on the struggle bus so bad, and I was really, really fighting my inner dialogue. And no matter how much I tried to do my way of coping. Hit it face on. Own it.
Acknowledge it. Let it have its own space, and then move on. I just could not get out of my own head that day. I found that one really, really challenging.
Bona Normandeau: Oh yes. Self-compassion I still struggle with that one, but I do find that when I use it properly, it’s my superpower.
Teri Murray: I love that you called it a superpower.
Bona Normandeau: It’s totally a superpower. Teri, what would you say was your biggest takeaway from this challenge?
Teri Murray: The thing that I loved the most about this challenge is that although some of the areas needed a lot more work, I discovered that overall, I am much happier with my life. I’m so much happier now than Teri of two years ago when I first started.
And the challenge allowed me to dig deeper in areas where I have let some things linger or just be, and I, just didn’t progress them.
Overall, I just, I found it a really positive experience.
Bona Normandeau: I love that you got that out of this challenge, actually. I had a very similar experience when I was creating the challenge in that I realized that I had internalized some of these lessons and other ones still are a work in progress. I just think that speaks to how this is a journey.
We deal with things when we’re ready for them. One thing at a time.
And the others are for, like you said, future Bona. She can deal with those later. Right now, I’m dealing with what I’m dealing with.
Okay. So I would love to know, would you do the challenge again?
Teri Murray: Of course, I would. I cannot wait to do it again. It would be so much fun.
Whenever you’re doing one, sign me up.
Bona Normandeau: That’s awesome. I love that. Would you do anything different in the next challenge?
Teri Murray: One thing that I would do differently in the next challenge and in future challenges, is that I went completely off the cuff. I didn’t print off the materials that you worked so hard to provide us.
I will next time because I feel like I did get stuff out of it, but I definitely didn’t get the full experience and I want more. And it was such a great challenge and I loved being part of it. And I just know that I can dig deeper. If anyone didn’t print it or is thinking, eh, whatever, I’ll just follow along.
Print out the materials. Do the journaling exercise. Write down all of the things that you’re grateful for.
Even if you’re already doing your own journaling, like it’s really, really worth the effort. And I feel like, probably I missed out on some of the experience. I’m looking forward to the next one so I can give it my all.
Bona Normandeau: I love that. Teri, thank you for that. Since you’re so great at explaining things and encouraging people, let’s try this one.
How would you describe the 21 Day Happiness Challenge to someone who’s never experienced it before?
Teri Murray: All right. When you asked me this question, I thought about how I would push it out on Instagram or Facebook. So I went with:
Are you feeling stuck? Do you feel like there is more that you could do that you haven’t tapped into yet?
Do you feel like you’re in a rut and you’re feeling emotional about everything or nothing? This is a great challenge to tackle those things. It’s a guided journey to get you started on a path to see how you can pivot, flip the switch, or push yourself outside of your comfort zone, to really make changes in your perspective.
They do say that it takes 21 days to make something a habit. This is a great place to start doing something just a little bit of changes in your habits and your overall outlook.
Bona Normandeau: I think you pretty much nailed that, Teri. Awesome.
Teri Murray: Overall, I loved it. I love the community that you built through your amazing podcast so much. It is my happy place.
Bona Normandeau: And thank you so much for being part of the community. Teri, it’s so much fun when we interact, and you always give such awesome encouragement and feedback after every Podcast. Thank you for being You. It’s so true that your personality and your happiness is infectious. And you’re super easy to be around and I’m really grateful that we reconnected.
This is a lot of fun. I hope we get to do this again.
Teri Murray: For sure. Anytime. You need any advertising; I’ll be your little cheerleader.
Bona Normandeau: What a woman. I hope you all found Teri’s energy as infectious as I do. I really love sharing different people in the happiness community with all of you. We are all unique and on our own paths. But that’s what makes this even more powerful.
As we start to choose our own unique path, we learn to encourage and appreciate each person’s own journey.
I’m thinking I need to hire Teri as my marketing department. I love how she described the challenge and how she would invite and encourage others to try it along with her. Her dedication, to do it again and get even more out of it is inspiring.
When we recorded this, Teri did not know that the next one would be scheduled when I aired this episode. But I loved her offer to be a cheerleader for others. And she really is. If you’re wondering if you should sign up for the next challenge, I would say, go for it. Like Teri said, you get out of it, what you put into it. And I happen to know that Teri has already signed up and recruiting others to join her.
Don’t miss out on an opportunity to have Teri as your cheerleader.
We really are building a community of people supporting each other and finding their happier. It’s awesome.
I love the Teri got so inspired by the “What we offer to others, we give to ourselves” day during the challenge. It was so amazing that she immediately implemented it and gave compassion and understanding to her son.
There’s no one among us that during a stressful, anxious time, wouldn’t love to be treated with compassion, patience, and understanding.
I get goosebumps every time I think about how Teri used that lesson, that same day to lovingly support her son through that stressful time. If we keep doing what we’ve always done, we will keep getting what we’ve always got.
Implementing a new perspective or skill is not always comfortable. In fact, often it’s quite uncomfortable.
Unless we try it on for size, see how it feels for us, we’ll never know if a different reaction could field a better result than what we’ve always done.
Your challenge this week is to remember a recent time that you were stressed, anxious, or unsure. Then ask yourself, how would I want to be helped through that moment? Write this down. This challenge is twofold.
It will tell you how to treat yourself in that next, stressful time. Also known as self-compassion. And it will give you the tools to recognize when someone else is in that moment and offer them patience compassion and understanding instead of judgment and impatience.
Today’s quote is by Steve Maraboli, and he says
Happiness is not the absence of problems. It’s the ability to deal with them.”
Remember, if you want to check out the next 21 Day Happiness Challenge, we’re starting again in May. You can go to the website, thehappieryou.net , but I will also put a link in the show notes. Alright Happy people, have a good one and go get your happy on!