This week I am sharing 5 steps to learn to love yourself and find the dream in your heart. This episode came about because recently when I have shared the story of how The Happier You Podcast came to be, the question I most get is “What would you tell someone who understands that empty feeling and wants to find the dream in their heart?”
I know we all have our own unique journey, but maybe knowing what worked for me can encourage and inspire you to find the dream in your heart too.
I hope you enjoy this week’s podcast. Don’t forget we’d love to see you over on the Facebook Group, The Happier You Podcast!
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Episode Transcript:
Hi, Happy people. And welcome back.
Today we are talking about the 5 Steps to Learn to Love Yourself and Discover The Dream In Your Heart.
How does finding the dream in your heart lead to your happier? Well, I truly believe that when you take the time to learn to love yourself and find the dream in your heart, you will find your happier.
This whole journey started for me when I was at a conference and the speaker said, what is the dream in your heart? We were in a group of three and I turned to the friend to the left and she enthusiastically shared her dream. I then turned to the friend on the right. And she enthusiastically shared her dream. They both turned and looked at me, and I cried. I didn’t know the answer. I felt gutted. There was just this big hole.
Recently, I’ve shared the story of how The Happier You podcast came to be with different groups and I even got invited onto someone else’s podcast. What seems to be resonating with people the most is that feeling of being gutted or having a big gaping hole and not knowing what the dream in your heart is.
Today’s podcast is my answer to the question, “what advice would you give someone who understands that awful feeling of not knowing the dream in their heart and wants to find their own.”
So today I’m going to share with you what helped me find the dream in my heart, in the hopes that you will find yours too.
First off, let me just say, you are not alone, there is nothing wrong with you. In fact, I’m excited for you because you are at the beginning of an amazing journey. You are worth it!
I’ve broken down the steps that I took after that conference to learn to love myself and find the dream in my heart.
So here we go. Bona’s 5 Steps To Learn To Love Yourself and Find The Dream In Your Heart. Oh! And every list should have a fun theme, so Let’s rename it.
The 5 L’s, because each step starts with an L, to Learn to Love Yourself and Find the Dream In Your heart!
Disclaimer: This is not a scientific method. This is just me, sharing with you, what worked for me.
Here are the 5 L’s and then I’ll explain each one separately.
#1 – Look Forward.
#2 – Listen and ask.
#3 -Log it.
#4 -Let go of judgement.
#5 – Live Your Best Life.
#1 – Look forward. You are where you are so let’s go from here.
You need to start where you’re at and go from here. I think it’s really important to love yourself for where you are right now. Don’t waste any time or energy thinking you should be somewhere else. You are where you’re supposed to be, but it doesn’t mean you have to stay here.
So much marketing goes into telling you what you need to be happy or successful. But really, without judgment, accept where you’re at and go from there.
#2 – Listen and ask. Get to know yourself. Your thoughts and your feelings.
When I came home from that conference. And I realized that I needed to learn to love myself first. My personal journey started by listening. I read personal growth books and I listened to podcasts. I also listened to books and I wrote down whatever spoke to me or jumped off the page at me. When I successfully quieted my mind and meditated during that time or whatever my version of meditation was, I wrote down what I felt during the meditation.
Some days there was nothing to report. Other days I was in tears because the message was clear and profound.
One of the things I did when I was listening is I pulled back from social media to ensure that I was getting to know me better and not being influenced by others.
I wanted to make sure that I was paying attention to how I really thought and not being swayed by outside influences.
#3 -Log it. Journal, or capture those thoughts and feelings however suits you.
Personally, I journaled all this. I’ve told this story many times, but I was not a journaler. And in fact, there was no rule to it. I just grabbed a fresh journal and as things spoke to me or I had feelings or thoughts, I made sure I wrote them down.
I wasn’t consistent over the four months. It’s just when something popped up, I wrote it down. That’s what worked for me. I don’t think I’ll ever stop saying this, but I truly believe that journaling is a note to my future self.
Some days I read back what’s in my journal and I enjoy reading about the revelations that I had at the time, or realizing when I hit a turning point. I look back and I can admit that I’ve internalized some things and I’ve completely forgotten others. The cool part is it’s all there for me to go back and reference. And it’s all part of my journey.
#4 -Let go of judgement. Only self-acceptance and love are allowed.
This one is difficult and really important. Do not judge yourself or have expectations.
This is your journey, and it will take however long it takes. I gave myself four months. Different things came up during those four months and I just let them sit in my journal until my listening period was over.
I never thought the journey would be shared with you or anyone else. It was only ever for me.
There are some things from that reflection time that made me cry and I’ve only just recently shared with my husband. Some pretty huge revelations came through when I quieted my mind and just listened. It was not always easy to hear, but what I learned was important and I went in with a goal to love and accept who I am right now.
#5 – Live Your Best Life. Just own it.
This is your journey. I think this is a really hard concept to accept these days, given how social media is about sharing so much of our lives with so many people. I think it’s easy to think that we want someone else’s life, but we don’t. What you have is yours. Own it. Work with it.
Only you have lived the experiences that got you to this point.
You’re the only one who’s going to continue on this journey. You are the hero in your own story. Everything you need is inside of you.
So, don’t look for the pill, the cream, or the quick fix. It’s your life, your journey. Do what you can to enjoy it and make it your best life.
Okay. let’s recap the 5 L’s to Learning to Love Yourself and Find The Dream In Your Heart.
#1 – Look Forward. You are where you are so let’s go from here.
#2 – Listen and ask. Get to know yourself, your thoughts, your feelings.
#3 -Log it. Journal, or capture those thoughts and feelings somehow.
#4 -Let go of judgement. Just self-acceptance and love.
#5 – Live Your Best Life. Just own it.
So ultimately what I’m saying is start where you’re at and spend time getting to know and love who you are right now. It is really easy to get caught up in the doing. Pay attention to who you are being in all of the doing.
When you find the dream in your heart that’s missing in your current life, then you can start the process of fitting it into your life.
All right. So your challenge for today:
If that gutted feeling I talked about totally resonates with you, then your challenge is to follow the five steps I outlined to find the dream in your heart.
After sharing the Happier You Podcast story, I realized that there are lots of us out there missing something and we just don’t know what it is yet. Please help us to continue to share this journey with anyone who might need it.
When you’re the person who feels gutted because you don’t have a dream in your heart, t is encouraging to know you are not alone. There is nothing wrong with you. And you are just at the beginning of an incredible journey.
Now that you know where that discontent comes from, you just need to take the first small step.
Today’s quote is from Brené Brown.
Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we will ever do.
Brené Brown.
Thanks for listening happy people.
Remember we would love for you to rate and review us on apple podcasts. It just helps other people find us if they need more happy in their life. And of course, we would really love you to join our FB community, The Happier You Podcast. Join us and share your thoughts on the different episodes or just show us your favourite coffee mug, where you are listening to the podcast or your favorite vacation spot. We’re always sharing fun stuff and encouragement with each other. And lastly, if you want to get in on the next 21 Day Happiness Challenge, you can sign up on waiting list at thehapperyou.net/21dayhappinesschallenge.
All right happy people. Have a good one and go get your happy on!!!